Here's a quick tutorial of travel to and around Uruguay - 42 lessons learned from my 10-day trip last February...
1. Anti-nausea patches behind the ear are not foolproof. After attempting a crossword puzzle you still may barf in an airplane bathroom.
2. After drinking only water for several hours, barfing is relatively quick and painless.
3. Nine hour flights include a complimentary dinner and breakfast.
4. Free airplane food is grosser than a discount frozen Banquet dinner.
5. Luggage is definitely not guaranteed to arrive with your flight.
6. It is a great idea to tuck an extra pair of underpants in your carry on bag.
7. It is even better if your hotel in Montevideo is connected to a large mall.
8. Malls are just as annoying here in UY as in the US.
9. It is extremely entertaining to explain (in English) to a lingerie sales woman that you lost the rest of your underpants in a baggage claim fiasco, and have her explain (in mostly Spanish) the merits of her favorite line of underpants.
10. It turns out when you have two hours of free time and absolutely no clean clothes, spending money is the least of your worries.
11. When a local suggests that a bus ride to Melo from Montevideo should only take a few hours, it is actually more accurate to double their estimated time.
12. A six hour coach bus ride is way more comfortable than being on an airplane.
13. UY has some awesome wines.
14. Locals will laugh when they discuss someone who is vegetarian.
15. Apparently there is no limit to the amount of beef that is served at a traditional Asado cookout.
16. Old ranch estates are awesome places to stay and smell EXACTLY like Grandma and Grandpa's house.
17. Uruguayans really like their beef.
18. Uruguayans really like their lamb.
19. Uruguayans really like their pork.
20. Uruguayans don't so much like their vegetables.
21. Receiving long-lost luggage while traveling in a foreign country is better than Christmas.
22. Watching a rerun of Grey's Anatomy in Spanish is pretty hilarious.
23. McDreamy is not as attractive with a nasal Spanish voice.
24. Many Uruguayans will use a one-sided cheek kiss instead of a handshake.
25. Apparently only blonde female Americans receive this privilege.
26. There are four cows for every one person in UY.
27. There is a ton of cow poop all over the land.
28. In hot sun, cow poop petrifies quite quickly.
29. Interesting things happen when you order from a menu and a waitress in an entirely different language.
30. According to Google Translator on a Blackberry, zapillo means zucchini.
31. Zapillo actually means pumpkin.
32. Pumpkin ravioli is quite delicious.
33. The Uruguayan Sunday Market in the old part of town offers hours of entertainment.
34. It is much harder to buy things when prices are not posted.
35. Uruguayans are very friendly and helpful when you are buying their stuff.
36. There are endless used book shops along the main market street.
37. Women who work the front counter at bookshops are not shy about breastfeeding.
38. She will continue breastfeeding while she attends to you and your purchase.
39. She is not even bothered that your male boss is also with you.
40. It is hilariously uncomfortable when both you and said boss are avoiding eye contact with the breastfeeding activity and with each other.
41. It is a very unique bonding experience to laugh about the breastfeeding incident together later.
42. Uruguay is an awesome place to visit.
2. After drinking only water for several hours, barfing is relatively quick and painless.
3. Nine hour flights include a complimentary dinner and breakfast.
4. Free airplane food is grosser than a discount frozen Banquet dinner.
5. Luggage is definitely not guaranteed to arrive with your flight.
6. It is a great idea to tuck an extra pair of underpants in your carry on bag.
7. It is even better if your hotel in Montevideo is connected to a large mall.
8. Malls are just as annoying here in UY as in the US.
9. It is extremely entertaining to explain (in English) to a lingerie sales woman that you lost the rest of your underpants in a baggage claim fiasco, and have her explain (in mostly Spanish) the merits of her favorite line of underpants.
10. It turns out when you have two hours of free time and absolutely no clean clothes, spending money is the least of your worries.
11. When a local suggests that a bus ride to Melo from Montevideo should only take a few hours, it is actually more accurate to double their estimated time.
12. A six hour coach bus ride is way more comfortable than being on an airplane.
13. UY has some awesome wines.
14. Locals will laugh when they discuss someone who is vegetarian.
15. Apparently there is no limit to the amount of beef that is served at a traditional Asado cookout.
16. Old ranch estates are awesome places to stay and smell EXACTLY like Grandma and Grandpa's house.
17. Uruguayans really like their beef.
18. Uruguayans really like their lamb.
19. Uruguayans really like their pork.
20. Uruguayans don't so much like their vegetables.
21. Receiving long-lost luggage while traveling in a foreign country is better than Christmas.
22. Watching a rerun of Grey's Anatomy in Spanish is pretty hilarious.
23. McDreamy is not as attractive with a nasal Spanish voice.
24. Many Uruguayans will use a one-sided cheek kiss instead of a handshake.
25. Apparently only blonde female Americans receive this privilege.
26. There are four cows for every one person in UY.
27. There is a ton of cow poop all over the land.
28. In hot sun, cow poop petrifies quite quickly.
29. Interesting things happen when you order from a menu and a waitress in an entirely different language.
30. According to Google Translator on a Blackberry, zapillo means zucchini.
31. Zapillo actually means pumpkin.
32. Pumpkin ravioli is quite delicious.
33. The Uruguayan Sunday Market in the old part of town offers hours of entertainment.
34. It is much harder to buy things when prices are not posted.
35. Uruguayans are very friendly and helpful when you are buying their stuff.
36. There are endless used book shops along the main market street.
37. Women who work the front counter at bookshops are not shy about breastfeeding.
38. She will continue breastfeeding while she attends to you and your purchase.
39. She is not even bothered that your male boss is also with you.
40. It is hilariously uncomfortable when both you and said boss are avoiding eye contact with the breastfeeding activity and with each other.
41. It is a very unique bonding experience to laugh about the breastfeeding incident together later.
42. Uruguay is an awesome place to visit.
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